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Sunday, November 2, 2008

Twenty weeks, Half way there!


This week I am twenty weeks pregnant. I can hardly believe how fast this pregnancy is going. It has not fully entered my conscience that we are having another baby. Even though the baby is kicking all the time now and I really am showing (finally). Even as I rocked my little guy to sleep tonight and felt Baby B moving around. I am just having a hard time with the realization of it. We had to go through some muck to finally get our sweet Truitt, but this baby just came to us easy as pie. It is a much different sensation.

This pregnancy has also been much harder then with Truitt. Both emotionally and physically. I haven't shared this with everyone. We were so happy to be pregnant, but then the reality of it settled in. I battled with a lot of anxiety and depression for the first 16 weeks. A few times a week I would be crying by the afternoon, so unsure of myself as a mother, feeling as if I was abandoning Truitt, and feeling so disconnected from the baby. It wasn't until I saw Truitt playing with his cousins that I realized he is going to like having a sibling, and that we are all going to be okay, even blessed by having our kids close together. It will be hard at first no doubt, but Truitt is going to be okay, and our family with be better for it.

Physically, I have been having a lot of pelvic pain and pressure since about week 11. Week 17 I finally started water aerobics and stopped doing Stroller Strides, which has helped a lot. But I still have to sit down quite a bit in the evening, and my sciatic nerve has started flaring up if I don't rest enough. I can feel it all the way from my tail bone down around my thigh and into my foot! I never had that with Truitt. I think it is so different this time because I am carrying the baby quite differently. I am not all out front like I was with Truitt. This baby is just now popping out and I feel much wider then I do all in the front. You can't really tell from the photo above, but I also feel like I am carrying a bit higher. Many people think this means I am having a girl, but I am trying not to let my mind go there as we are not finding out the sex this time. We even played an old wives game over my birthday weekend where you put a needle in a pencil, then put a string through the needle, and hang the pencil completely still above the mother's wrist. If the pencil goes across the wrist from side to side it's a girl, if it goes up and down from fingers to arm, it's a boy. Well, that pencil started going crazy from side to side! But, like I said I am really trying to keep an open mind, because even though I want to know, I want the surprise more.

I have had three dreams that it is a boy, but I have never woke up with a certain feeling about it. I had a dream with Truitt that he was a boy, and I woke up so certain. I was hoping for a girl, but I knew that was wrong. This time saying it is either one doesn't feel completely right, so I really don't know what to think.

I do feel bad that I don't have time to just lie around and dream about this baby. Truitt has a whole scrapbook of my pregnancy. This one will have a few pages! I enjoyed every pain and every movement with Truitt. Oh well baby B! One good thing about not being able to just lie around and dream about baby, less weight gain, much less!!!

5 comments:

The Mendes Family said...

You look adorable! Yay for baby B kicking away! There's nothing like a good kick in the ribs to let you know that he or she is coming! You are a fantastic mom, all you have to do is look at little Truitt, and you know you are fabulous! Take it all in stride, don't stress, and enjoy these last few months with Truitt by himself. Don't feel guilty about the pregnancy scrapbook, that's the way the cookie crumbles! And if you have 3, the third won't even get a page! They will be lucky if they even get pictures taken of them when they are born! jk Love you!

Rochelle said...

I hear you on the sciatic nerve pain...SO uncomfortable. For me it was really bad in the middle of my pregnancy but eased up in months 8-9...so maybe there is hope? Also, I remember feeling the same way when I had #2...wondering if I could possibly love my 2nd as much as I loved my first...but you do. Amazingly, you just have enough love to share with both of them (and #3 and #4 too :-) True, circumstances change and you can't to EVERYTHING like you did with your first born, but rest assured that you will bond and LOVE #2 ...but that didn't connect with me until the baby actually came. And you will LOVE watching Truitt with a sibling. That will make you love them both even more. Hang in there!

A Work In Progress.. said...

Thank you for the encouraging words! Stacey- thank you for reminding me that I am doing a good job, and that you think I am raising a great boy!
Rochelle- Your words mean so much coming from an experienced mom! It's nice to know I am not alone. Things are getting better each day.

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh Dominique, I felt the same way with my 2nd pregnacy, and feel it with my 3rd now too. I was worried about how the first one would react to the change, now I have to worry about how 2 will react. It's crazy, but some how it all works out with a lot of LOVE and a lot of patience. I also worry about how the kids will do with me in the hospital for 3 days, who will tuck them in, who will tuck me in. My husband is getting laid off tomorrow, so hopefully he will find a new job soon, but even then it is doubtful that he will get more than a day off when I have baby #3. So many things to think about, but in the end I know it will all turn out great, and I am trying to enjoy every minute of this pregnacy since it is my last. So I can relate, I think almost every woman out there can relate. Good luck!!!!
Kareena

Lals said...

Dominique,

You look absolutely beautiful! If you choose, then, to believe a Middle Eastern Old Wive's Tale, then this means that Baby #2 is a GIRL! As tradition has it, a woman gets prettier if she's having a girl, and well, the converse holds true if she's having a boy! ;)

Anyway, I haven't seen you in years, but I can only imagine that you're a fantastic mother to Truitt and that you'll be a fantastic mother to Baby #2 as well. You were always so sweet, kind, and nurturing during high school -- all great attributes for a mother to have!

Big Hugs! Congrats on being 1/2 way!

xxLals